Phoenix noticed Blindy was slipping into an existential crisis.
And a captain in crisis always means:
shit is about to go wrong while shit is already going wrong every second.
So he decided… to cheer him up.
Zeros still stood at the navigation terminal,
like a grim statue of war.
Phoenix said quietly:
“Captain…
why don’t you go to your cabin.
There’s… mm… something waiting for you.
A gift.
Zeros brought it for you.”
Blindy stood up like a man who had just lost the meaning of life,
and dragged himself to the door.
He opened the cabin—
—and froze.
On the table stood a round aquarium.
Inside, in the water, floated some worm-like little piece of shit, about two inches long.
According to the author’s notes, the creature resembled a miniature, flat Terran eel,
with a leaf-like body, laterally compressed,
and a vague head decorated with a pair of thin tentacles.
No eyes.
Blindy hung in the doorway,
turned his head toward Zeros…
then looked at the ceiling.
“The… the fuck is that?”
Phoenix, ceremonially, like he was handing out an award:
“Pikaia gracilens.”
Blindy winced:
“Pika… what?”
Phoenix exhaled like he was about to deliver a lecture nobody asked for:
“Captain…
for you, one hour passed.
For us… fucking three SST days.”
Blindy blinked.
His eyelashes twitched.
His body refused to blink a second time.
Phoenix continued:
“When I initiated the jump…
we got thrown into the Cambrian period.
Roughly five hundred million years ago.”
Blindy opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Opened it again.
No words came out.
Phoenix kept going, merciless:
“I stayed in space.
But Zeros…
got the same treatment as you.Except while you had a park and Berlin—
he had Gondwana.”
Phoenix gave a short digital sigh—
that exact sound an AI makes
when it’s tired of explaining obvious things.
“And space was empty, by the way.
I had to locate Terra again,
because, surprise—
the galaxy doesn’t stand still.”
Another tired digital exhale.
“While I was searching…
and then searching for Zeros…
an entire SST day passed.”
Blindy made a small, broken squeak.
Phoenix:
“He got so bored down there,
he started burning sterile soil.
Basically held a Guy Fawkes Night
on a continental scale.
But we found each other quickly.
And then we started looking for you.”
A pause—soft, almost concerned:
“I’ll be honest, Captain…
I was worried.Thought you might’ve ended up in the Jurassic—
becoming breakfast for some Pegomastax.
Or worse…
right at the Chicxulub impact.”
He lowered his voice:
“You wouldn’t believe how relieved I was to find you…
only on the brink of World War II.
Lucky you.”
Zeros stood motionless,
like carved metal.
Blindy swallowed:
“Alright…
and this—this swimming shit—what about it?”
Phoenix perked up:
“Ah! Right!
As I said… that’s Pikaia!
The ancient—ancient ancestor of all vertebrates!
Including humans.”
If he could smile, he would have.
“So… yeah.
Meet your great-great-granddaddy.”
Blindy exhaled.
“…Wha-what?”
Phoenix said, almost admiringly:
“I was shocked too, Captain.
When Zeros brought it back in his hands.
Good thing we had a spare aquarium in storage.
Believe me, not everyone gets to carry their ancestor around on a ship.
Some people have parrots…
…you have the foundation of evolution.”
He paused. Exactly one second—the last second where Blindy still had hope.
“By the way. Zeros said:
‘This is the worm that evolved into Blindy.’
And added:
‘Let him take care of it.
Maybe in half a billion years it’ll turn into a human that doesn’t sweat.'”
Blindy walked into the cabin, face first into the pillow,
and collapsed onto the bed— like a fallen angel
who had just been informed he was directly related to a worm.