After the “analysis” and Blindy being blamed for every sin in existence, the “culprit” sat in the corner and started lifting weights—like muscles could somehow lift the guilt off him.
When Z-P-N-E-S 2.0 dropped out of hyperspace, Phoenix announced:
“We have arrived in system GRO J0422+32.
Adjusting course to landing zone.
Estimated time to arrival—30 minutes.”
Blindy dropped the weights and walked up to the canopy.
There was no light.
He leaned forward, squinting hard,
like he could force something to exist just by staring at it.
“Fuck… why’s it so damn dark?
Rusty…
where the hell the star at?..
Like—there’s supposed to be one, right?..”
Phoenix answered in the most bored voice possible:
“Uh… dead. A few billion years ago.
Replaced by a black hole.”
He noticed Blindy still squinting,
trying to see something—anything.
“No, you’re not blind.
The one near Mülldeponie has an accretion disk.
This one does NOT.
So stop staring—you won’t see anything.”
Blindy’s breathing slipped off rhythm.
He backed away from the canopy
and dropped into the pilot seat too quickly,
like the void might reach in if he stayed standing.
His hands locked onto the console,
gripping it like it could anchor him.
“F-fuck…”
He swallowed, eyes fixed firmly on the controls.
“This like…
the ass-end of everything or what?..There’s nothin’ here…
like—nothin’ nothing…
not even fake somethin’…”
His grip tightened.
“Zeros…
let’s—let’s just leave, yeah?..I… I can’t…
you know I can’t…
like—you KNOW I can’t do this…”
Zeros sighed like his battery was at 1%.
“Cosmic fuck, here we go again.
Calm down, you trembling piece of shit.”
Phoenix added, clinically:
“The captain’s heart rate is above normal.
Indicators match an anxiety response.
Blindy… are you afraid of the dark?”
Blindy let out a short,
bitter snort,
rubbing his face like he regretted answering already.
“Yeah—yeah I am scared, alright?..
When I was a kid…
I—
…yeah, I was bad with that…
Like—real bad…”
He shook his head, annoyed at himself.
“I was even scared to look under the bed…
Like—kid scared…
dumb scared…
don’t even wanna look…
under the bed and shit…
like somethin’s waitin’ there…”
His hand lifted slightly, gesturing toward the canopy—then stopped halfway.
“And now this…”
His voice dropped.
“ This ain’t even dark, man…
this got no bottom…
like—no end, no wall…
this—THIS DAMN…
BOTTOMLESS DARK…”
He scratched the back of his neck, eyes drifting somewhere else.
“Funny to remember now…
but I got lost once…
I was real little…
like—small small…
like—carry-me small…”
A weak shrug followed.
“My mom… yeah…
you know what kinda work she did…
left me sittin’ there…
just—parked me somewhere…
while she went off with some… guy…”
His lips twitched, not quite a smile.
“And me—dumb little fuck—
saw somethin’…
followed it…
next thing—
gone…
just—gone…”
His fingers tightened slightly against the console.
“Faces everywhere…
big people…
wrong people…
all of ’em too big…
like—too close…
An’ I was tiny…”
He exhaled through his nose, slow.
“I was yellin’—but…
But my voice just…
just—just drowned…
like—
like it didn’t count…”
He tapped his chest once, lightly.
“And then it hit me…
like—real clear…”
His voice flattened.
“…I’m fucked.
Like really—really fucked.”
A dry breath escaped him.
“If I disappear?..
Nobody even notices…
not really…
like—maybe later…
maybe not…”
He nodded faintly to himself.
“But mom found me… yeah…
‘course she did…”
A crooked half-smile appeared.
“She always did…
like—always…
Had a nose for me… “
The smile faded just as fast.
“But that feelin’…
that you’re too small…
like the world just—
doesn’t give a shit ’bout you…
like—not even tryin’ to notice you…
That shit don’t go away easy.”