VJOOM PS-SHH-SHIIIT TUDUM
RADIO NEBULA 69.99 FTLM!
[A short cosmic jazz jingle. The one rumored to have made Sagittarius A evaporate faster just to get away from it. Rumor also says the heat death of the universe sped up for the same reason][Dick, in his velvet "late-night" voice]“Alright, my dear space gremlins…
Just a reminder, you are still tuned in to the late-night radio podcast
‘Radio Nebula 69.99 FTLM,’
where our number one goal is
to keep you little bastards awake,
and our number two goal is
to keep the universe from blowing to hell while we’re on air.Although… looking at recent statistics… who the hell knows.”
[Sound: BEEP—BEEP—BEEP, docking signal]“Oh… that’s bad…
Looks like someone just docked with the station.
Night broadcasts rarely get visitors…
especially uninvited ones…
ESPECIALLY IF IT’S THAT PIECE OF SHIT TODD!”
[The studio door opens—VZHSH—VOOOM.
And in the doorway… him.
A mountain of a man.
Muscles at the level of "I once shook hands with a planet and it changed its rotation axis."
So massive the station's gravity system squealed
and recalibrated itself just to avoid collapsing onto Terra.
Ma Dong-Rho.
Jackie's uncle.
Dick swallowed so loudly the mic picked up a continuous hum
like a grounding failure.
Jackie, on the other hand, lit up]“S-samchon…!..”
[Ma Dong-Rho stepped in like a storm.
But his voice was low. Calm. Almost home-like]“Uri gongju-nim…!”
[He said it softly. The way only family does][Then he clasped his hands behind his back, slowly scanned the studio, and added]“Came to check how you’re working.
And also…
brought kimchi.”
[He lifted a container the size of a fuel tank. The lid barely holding on]“I know when you work…
you forget to eat.”
[Jackie instantly turned red, waving her hands nervously]“Aigo, samchon…!
N-no, not like this! We’re live!”
[Ma Dong-Rho snorted like a diesel reactor]“I don’t care about live.
If uri Jaeki-ya is hungry, work gets worse.
If work gets worse, the whole system fails.
So…”
[He glanced at Dick]“I check everything.
And everyone.”
[Dick straightened up like a student caught cheating on an exam]“Ahem… yes, sir. Of course, sir.
We take… very seriously… the well-being… of… uh… staff…”
[Ma Dong-Rho snapped open the container lid.
The smell hit the studio with such force
that the system, used only to Dick's cigars
and whatever fast-food garbage they usually survived on during broadcasts,
completely panicked.
Ventilation sensors started screaming]"WARNING. CORROSIVE MIXTURE. EVACUATE."[Jackie yelped]“Samchon! Close it before they shut off the oxygen supply!”
[Ma Dong-Rho chuckled warmly]“Daeche mwoya, ssibal?!
I’ll shut down the whole damn station myself!
And the oxygen of the idiot who owns it!”
[The alert immediately turned off. Quiet. Almost apologetic.
The station felt like a rusty piece of metal
that suddenly came alive
just to pretend it was dead again
so Ma Dong-Rho wouldn't touch it]"WARNING. CORROSIVE MIXTURE NOT DETECTED. BON APPETIT."[Everything returned to normal][Dick swallowed again. This time quieter. And continued]“Alright, dear gremlins…
If this podcast suddenly cuts off,
just know the station killed us.Or Jackie’s uncle did.
And honestly? I’m not sure which is worse.”
[Jackie nudges Dick, laughing softly]“Don’t be dramatic.
Samchon is kind!”
[At that moment, Ma Dong-Rho places the container on the floor.
The station immediately begins orbital recalibration again][Dick, whispering into the mic]“Kids… if you can hear this…
love your relatives.Especially the ones who can knock your soul out with a look.”
[Ma Dong-Rho takes a seat in the corner.
Sits down.
Adjusts the headphones like he's about to host the show himself]“So. Continue.
I’ll just… listen.”
[Jackie and Dick exchange a look.
She tilts her head slightly toward Ma Dong-Rho, her eyes asking the question without words:
You really want him sitting here? You sure?
Dick licks his dry lips, giving the smallest shake of his head, his expression practically screaming:
Are you insane? This is going to be a disaster.
Jackie frowns, then gestures subtly toward Dick with her eyes, her look pushing the responsibility onto him:
Then you tell him to leave. I can't. He's my samchon… he'll get upset.
Dick lets out a quiet, strained chuckle.
Easy to say…
He glances at Ma Dong-Rho. And in that exact moment,
his entire face shifts,
like a man realizing something deeply important:
…I haven't finished my will yet]"Don Rho… sir!.."[Ma Dong-Rho snaps his gaze toward him.
Dick immediately stiffens. ]“We… uh…
Are you comfortable over there?
Maybe you’d like my chair? It’s more comfortable. Heh…”
[Jackie gives Dick a disappointed look, puffs her cheeks, then gestures toward the exit and looks at her uncle]“Samchon, really… thank you for the kimchi…
But maybe head back home! Quickly!”
[Dick goes pale. But Ma Dong-Rho replies, low and rough, yet still warm]“Uri Jaeki-ya, I’m fine here.
You two continue…”
[Across the galaxy, listeners lost their minds.
At that exact moment, the ratings jumped.
So sharply that Radio Nebula overtook
the children's show Nickelsodium™
the only program you can listen to without using your brain at all
and shot straight to rank 21 in the Top 25][Ma Dong-Rho lifts the kimchi container, tilts it like a water barrel, and starts eating in huge bites][Dick freezes for a second, staring at the scene like a man witnessing something no broadcaster training ever prepared him for][Jackie quietly elbows him in the side][Dick flinches.
Remembers.
He's still live]