[Jackie scrolls again, smirking]"Message from Raluu'Ksset, SST age 148…‘Jackie, you have a beautiful voice.
Dick… you remind me of an aggressive tree during mating disputes.'”
[Dick lunges forward]“I REMIND YOU OF WHAT, YOU PIECE OF—?!
RALUU—GO TO HELL!
Go dance with your own shadow!
Wherever the hell they invented you!”
[Jackie smiles, holding back laughter]“That’s actually a compliment.
Among the Glipnorians, that tree symbolizes masculinity and strength.”
[She freezes for a second, smile faltering—then blinks]“Omo… but… they’re extinct…
after encountering humans on Red Rodeo—
Waaah… that’s actually good news…
means some of them made it…”
[Dick goes quiet. For a second. Then mutters]“…shit… this is my job now.
Todd… fuck you.”
[Jackie scrolls again, raising an eyebrow slightly]"Message from… 'Anonymous admirer of Jacqueline Rho.'"
[She reads softly, almost whispering]“‘Jacqueline… vous êtes ravissante.
You deserve a real agent… not this… man.'”
[Silence in the studio. Dick slowly lifts his head—like a predator catching scent]“SON OF A BITCH—THAT’S TODD!
Speak of the devil—and there he is!”
[He slams the radio panel so hard buttons flicker]“‘Ravissante’… he says…
Oh I got a French word for you too, Todd!
You goddamn… ‘cul de crapaud!'”
[Jackie smiles sweetly, ignoring the incoming radio rage]“Well… Dick… calm down…
his French does sound… very nice.”
[Dick chokes like a broken generator]“NICE?!
Jackie, sweetie, that ain’t nice—
that’s TODD SEDUCING PEOPLE!”
[He stands, waving his arms like a deranged conductor]“His French is like a damn drug!
He uses it to lure people in!
And next thing you know—
you’ve signed a contract and you’re—”
[He points into the air like Todd is floating there]“You’re fucked—
and—
et t’es dans la merde…BOTH OF ‘EM!”
[While Dick continued raging in righteous fury,
Jackie gently covered the microphone with her fingers—
her voice turning warm, velvety, almost hypnotic]“And while our dear Dick is going through yet another solar flare phase…
let’s… cool him down a little.”
[She smiled—like she was sharing a secret conspiracy
with billions of listeners]“For all of you, dear cosmic cuties…
coming up now is the magnificent, one-of-a-kind,
interstellar vocalist Fenya Vesh’Naari.”
[A soft pause. A subtle motion of her hand]“One of her latest Ethereal compositions…
a song critics describe as—
‘the breath of the void, whispering in sleep.’Enjoy…
Fenya—The Breath Of The Void.”
[Dick let out a heavy breath.
The station felt it through its entire frame]“Thanks, Baby…
Fenya… damn, she knows how to relax a man.
So much that… yeah… I think I can survive a few more messages
from these assholes.”
[Once Dick had fully recovered,
Jackie tapped the next message and barely held back a laugh]
"Message from listener Graham Poopier, SST age 19:‘I’d like to say hi to my grandma!
Grandma, if you hear this—I love you!'”
[Dick raised an eyebrow slowly—like an old mechanical lift struggling upward]“What the hell is this—family greetings now?
Graham, go send that crap to Galactic Morning Show!
This is radio for degenerates,
not cosmic WhatsApp!”
[Jackie added gently]“But greetings to the grandma anyway.
Dick’s just jealous—his grandma didn’t love him.”
[Dick choked on air]“JACKIE!”
[Jackie clicked another message—and frowned slightly]"Message from Lir-Omba, SST age 77:‘Can you send me 100,000 Ꞩ? I swear I’ll pay it back. Someday.'”
[Dick rolled his eyes so far back
he nearly saw his own brain]“Lir-Omba, if we gave every broke idiot ten thousand c-bux,
I’d be taking out loans LIVE ON AIR!”
[He leaned into the mic]“And what exactly are you counting on?!
You think we’re some charity foundation
for your hopeless ass?!”
[Jackie calmly placed her hand over his]“Well… you could call it a karmic return.”
[Dick yelped]“JACKIE!
I already have enough debt because of Todd!
No more karma!
And NO MORE MESSAGES!
We’re going back to the story!”
[A faint hum of the broadcast lingered—
like the echo of laughter and irritation still vibrating in the air—
before the show shifted… back into the narrative]