Zeros had been walking near the medical wing, contemplating existence.
He turns just in time to see Blindy burst out—
half-naked, sweating, eyes wide with pure existential terror.
Zeros asked coldly.
“What’s the commotion now?”
Blindy, gasping for air:
“I—I WAS ALMOST COMPROMISED BY ALIEN TENTACLES!”
Zeros, completely emotionless:
“And that’s a problem?”
Blindy points frantically toward the medical wing:
“She—SHE tried to CONNECT with me!
Spiritually!
Physically!
MULTI-DIMENSION—WHATEVER!
Like I’m some damn U.S.R0B0TIX™ modem!
Do you understand?!”
Zeros looks at him like a manufacturing defect.
“Blindy… your IQ is in a constant fight with a wooden log.
And it’s losing.”
Blindy, however, heard none of it—too busy arguing with himself.
“She was about to touch… my… MY ASS!
Nobody touches my ass.
Not even me!”
Zeros exhales, the kind of sigh that makes it sound like the metal inside him is tired of existing.
“Maybe she was trying to find your brain.”
Blindy is desperately pulling his pants back on, looking around like the threat might return at any moment:
“ZEROS!
I wasn’t READY for that!”
Zeros inhaled so sharply the cooling system kicked in—
a low, rising hum, like someone booted Cyberpunk on max settings…
and opened Excel on top of it.
“You—never ready. For anything.
At any point in your existence.Shut up already.
No one wants your disgusting ass.
I hate you.
And I hate myself for tolerating your existence.”
Zeros kept walking—
perfectly committed to pretending he is alone in the entire galaxy.
[And at that moment, Jackie's voice slips into the broadcast like a quiet breath]“You know…
that is actually a very gentle form of contact for the Aelori…very sacred…
Blindy—fool—he misunderstood, that wasn’t—””
[Dick cuts in immediately, coughing like he's trying to expel every last trace of cosmic philosophy from his lungs]“Gentle?!
Baby…
if somebody came at me with a tail
anywhere near a place where NOTHING should be touching—I’d be out of that clinic at hyper too.
NOPE—nah—nada—
not allowed. Not even for myself!!”
[Jackie wasn’t about to let it slide. She pressed on, voice still gentle]“Dick…
It’s not what you think… Let me tell you this…
the Aelori use those tendrils to locate neural points—arms, spine… it’s a form of—”
[Dick exhales sharply, dragging the mic an inch away like it personally offended him]“…Holy cosmic hell
that’s even worse.
Nope. Nope, that did not help. Not one bit.”
[Pause. The sound of Dick adjusting his chair, nudging the mic a few inches away]“Alright…
let’s take a break
and give our listeners a moment to recoverfrom whatever the hell that was.
Scientific-cultural… erotic nightmare.”