[Dick opens his mouth, about to respond—
but Jackie cuts him off, quick and confident]“Alright. Music.
We’ve got a new track from the servitors band eight-broken.BITS™.
They used to be regular worker bots,
but eight of them had something snap in their code—
and they formed a band.For three SST years now, they’ve been dropping EDM
so hard they stay locked in the top 10 charts.And their new track…
Harder. Better. Faster.”
[Jackie taps the panel, and the track starts]— DING-DING DING-DING —[The studio phone rings again—and Dick's face goes pale like someone primed it with white paint]“FUCK! HOW MANY TIMES?!
Baby, I—I can’t take another sob story.
You take this one. Just pick it up and tell that asshole on the line
to go fuck himself—whoever it is…”
[Jackie exhales—tired, but holding herself together with grace]“Alright, Dick. Calm down.
Take a sedative. Or water. Or dignity. Whatever’s closest.I’ve got it.
…Radio Nebula 69.99 FTLM…
Go ahead, dear listener,
and please don’t mind Dick…”
[The voice that comes through is heavy, metallic—like a rusted pipe speaking]“This is the owner of the station.
Tss’Kura.”
[Silence. Very short. Very dangerous.
Dick swallowed hard—already picturing it:
that Glurpanth mouth splitting open,
the corona unfurling in slow, grinding rings,
like a living chainsaw waking up]“And what was it he called me?
‘That glurp-faced freak,’ was it?Well then, Jackie, darling—
tell that old dog to calm the hell down,
or I’ll unleash every legal predator I own on him.He’ll learn real fast.”
[Jackie shoots Dick a look:
— answer him, that’s the boss.
Dick violently shakes his head:—fuck no, not happening. She forces a smile into her voice, and takes the call herself]“Oh—Mister Vossk!
What a pleasure to hear your voice.
Is something wrong?”
[Tss'Kura exhales—like he's trying to calm down his own asthmatic volcano]“Sweetie, tell Dick there’s a camera in that studio.
This is a workplace. I can see that old dog flailing his hands around.But that’s alright…
We’ve got you.
You’re doing good, little Jackie.
Growing right before our eyes.Soon we’ll throw Dick overboard,
and you’ll take the podcast under your wing.”
[Jackie lets out an embarrassed little laugh]“Oh, come on…
I still have so much to learn.
Dick’s a great teacher.
And a great host.”
[Tss'Kura tries to chuckle, but it sounds like he choked on his own laugh]“Yes, yes. Of course.
Now—why I’m calling…
Ah, right.
You’re heading to Mold’pony.
You’ll be broadcasting live from there.We’ve already got our man on-site.
He’ll meet you.”
[Dick explodes]“WHAT THE FUCK?!
WE’RE FLYING TO A TRASH PLANET?!”
[Tss'Kura cuts straight through the panic]“Calm down.
You don’t have a choice.You’ll do exactly what I said.
And I’m not that cruel—
I wouldn’t send my future star, Jackie, out there alone.We’ve hired the best mercenaries in the galaxy.
They’ll be your security and your guides.They stay with you the whole time.
Alright.
Pack your things.
They’ll be there…
any second now.”
[The connection cuts—a sharp "PSHSHCHK"]