Dick cleared his throat, remembering half the galaxy was watching,
slipped into his signature radio tone—
and the drone drifted closer, lighting the outline of his face.
“Well, well, well, my dear gremlins…
We’ve landed.
And so damn smooth
I didn’t even feel a thing under my ass.”
The drone tilted slightly, locking onto a close-up of Dick, like it wanted to make damn sure that exact part made it into the archive.
Airi giggled.
“Dikku-dono-sama [⌐■_■]
You expected less?
I perform one hundred point eleven quintillion calculations per second—even during landing.
This’s not Buraindi-kun, drunk-flying his old rusty Z-P-N-E-S.”
Dick tried to process whether that was a lot—failed completely—opened his mouth a little and nodded like he got it.
Jackie slowly stood up, turned to Airi, and breathed out in pure, glowing admiration.
“WAAAH—AIGOOOYA—Airi-chan… you’re just divine…
I can barely decide what to cook for breakfast or what to wear at the same time…
And you… you do this…”
She glanced at Dick—the same man who needs a whole damn week just to figure out an annual budget—and added:
“Dick… just so you get the scale…
If every intelligent biological being in the entire galaxy did ONE calculation per second…
it would take all of us tens of thousands of years together to match what Airi-chan does in one second.”
Dick’s jaw dropped a solid two inches—looked like five.
And Airi, clearly enjoying the praise, rocked side to side like a happy little kid.
“Ooh~ Jakkīi-nyan, hontō ni arigatou ne~ [o_ _]ﾉ彡☆
I’m so happy you liked me!”
Shiori gave a quiet huff—the kind strict older sisters give when the younger one’s getting a little too carried away.
“Airi-chan, jiman bakari shiteru to…
bujin no michi kara hazureru yo.”
Dick adjusted his collar like a man who had just found himself stuck between two flavors of Japanese temperament and one Korean-level confidence.
“Alright, girls, let’s not start a fight.
We appreciate the comfortable flight.
We’ll be in your debt forever if the rest of the day goes just as smooth…
and we actually make it home alive.”
The team quietly stepped out of the ship, the drone floating ahead, filming their exit.
The very first breath twisted Dick’s face like he’d just inhaled through a filter made of rotting socks.
He instantly switched to mouth breathing.
“Oh, fuck…
How the hell do people breathe here?!”
Jackie giggled like she’d been waiting for this moment her entire life.
“Aha, Dick…
Now you kind of know what I deal with sitting next to you in that smoke-filled radio station.
Smells almost the same.
Guess I’ve built up immunity working with you.”
Airi skipped forward lightly, spun around, and waved her arms.
“We’re still in the hangar~ 。.:☆:･'[⌒―⌒]]]
That’s just the smell of my ship.
Machine oil, fuel, and rubber—it muffles the real atmosphere.”
She leaned in, smiling sweetly—like she was announcing the schedule for a fatal strike.
“Dikku-sama-sama, you better brace yourself for an air attack once we step outside the spaceport. ( – ⌓ – )”
Shiori quietly adjusted her belt like someone who’d walked through a thousand hells.
“Shinpai shinaide…
I’m used to it.
At the mercenary agency ‘We Fix It Right™’, sometimes you’ve got two hundred sweaty, filthy fighters packed together.
Smells… ne… don’t scare me.”
Airi nodded with full-on enthusiasm.
“There! See?! (˵ •̀ ᴗ – ˵ ) ✧
Shiori-sensei’s built different!
And we might have to go in there…
if we don’t find Buraindi-kun~.”
Dick straightened up, shook off the misery, dragged his pride back into place, and took a deep breath—so deep his artificial lungs let out a panicked little peeeeep! like a terrified kettle.
“Well, well, well, you little gremlins…
If any of you ever decide to visit this planet—
bring a mask.
Or just disable your sense of smell—
they do that in any cheap clinic.
Or, HERE’S THE BEST OPTION—
DON’T FUCKING COME HERE AT ALL!”
He glanced at Airi and Shiori like a man searching for moral support in a place where it absolutely does not exist.
“Anyway… the damn author said Blindy ran off to Shit Hall™.
Let’s go find him…
and then we’ll see which one of us lives to make the morning broadcast.”