Jackie nervously twisted the strap of her broadcast rig,
throwing helpless glances at the drone—
like she was silently begging it not to escalate the drama any further.
“Dick… don’t exaggerate…
Maybe it’s not that bad…
Stickers are just stickers…
Mercs are just mercs…
You should see what my place looks like.
This is… kinda normal… for Mold’pony…”
Shiori spoke quietly, without lifting her gaze:
“Jakkī-san.
What you described…
is indeed Myurudeponī.
The first few days are shocking.
But you get used to it quickly.
Chotto matte…”
She glanced at the scanner.
“It’s showing… elevated aggression levels in the atmosphere.”
Dick practically jumped out of his seat.
“In the ATMOSPHERE?!”
The drone reacted instantly.
- ZOOM—straight onto Dick’s horrified face.
The lens trembled slightly, like even the drone was losing its shit.
Then it snapped backward— - ZOOM OUT—framing Shiori, who sat completely calm—
like someone who had seen death, had tea with it, and wasn’t impressed.
Shiori turned her head slightly:
“Hai.
Today, Myurudeponī’s atmosphere is unusually aggressive.
Tokubetsu situation.”
The drone hovered near her shoulder and activated a soft side light to better capture the contrast
between Dick’s absolute meltdown
and Shiori’s Olympic-level calm.
Airi raised her hand like a moe physics teacher.
“We once flew through a conjugate zone,
near SGR 1806–20,
and the electromagnetic waves were dancing…
Kirei da ne~… sugoku suteki… [◕‿◕✿]”
Dick blinked. His face slowly collapsed into full “we’re all gonna die” mode.
“WHAT the fuck is THAT?!”
Airi beamed like she was talking about plush bunnies.
“Magunetā, mochiron~ へ[ ◕‿◕ ]_/¯”
Dick froze.
He slowly dragged his hand down his face.
“Wha—WHAT?!… a—a…
MAGNETAR?…
Are you FUCKING kidding me—?!”
At that exact word, the drone let out a sharp, terrified chirp—
peeeeep?
—and shut down.
The lens went dark.
It just dropped,
rolled across the floor like a loose bowling ball
bumped into a training machine,
and stopped—belly up.
Dick rolled his eyes.
“Look at that… even the round idiot gets how fucked up it is.”
A second later, the drone’s body twitched.
The lens flickered.
Still alive.
It suddenly rebooted,
popped back up on anti-grav,
returned to position,
shook itself twice—
like a dog after rain—
and silently locked focus on Dick,
as if nothing had happened.
Dick waved toward the viewport.
“Do you realize ONE spit from that thing
could rip the cosmic reality a new asshole?!”
He froze—pale as a party guy who just saw the IRS.
“Todd… I fucking hate you.”
The drone quietly zoomed in,
capturing his suffering in maximum QHD cruelty.
Jackie spun around—bright, energetic, like morning exercise.
“Dick, don’t start!
We’re a team!
We’ve got Shiori!
We’ve got Airi-chan!Everything’s gonna be fine!”
Shiori lifted her gaze—calm, like a python that swallowed a duck and decided to meditate on it.
“Jakkī-san…
Buraindi-san and Zerosu-san—
threat level: ten out of ten.Today may be… very difficult. But do not worry. Everything will be fine. Chikaimasu.”
Dick waved his hands like a man trying to physically fight off destiny.
“Oh, GREAT. THANK YOU.
Let me just add that to the program schedule:
‘Today we might get killed by the two most dangerous dumbasses in the universe.'”
Airi clapped her hands happily.
“Sou da, sou da! (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡
Dikku-dono, don’t worry!
I’m in constant contact with Fenikkusu-kun.
He did cut off connections with Kanzaki Ko Sangyō…
But WE are still connected.
And if anything happens—I will protect you from Zerosu-onī-chan.
I have SENTŌ MŌDO…
and my brothers will come help!”
Silence.
Shiori slowly turned her head—like a horror movie camera.
“Airi-chan…
sore o… koe ni dashite iu beki ja nakatta.”
Airi slapped her hands over her mouth.
“O-opsu~ [⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄]
Okay, I won’t say anything else… gomennasai~”
Dick stared at them like two cats that accidentally activated a nuclear warhead.
“Who the hell even came up with all this shit?”
Airi winked.
“Sēji-chama~ [^_−]☆”
Dick, quiet… slow… full acceptance of fate:
“That’s it. We’re fucked. Officially.”
The ship jolted—atmospheric entry had begun.
Shiori, steady as a navigation Buddha:
“Quiet. Landing soon.”
Airi sparkled like fireworks.
“Minnaaaa~ yoroshiku neeee~! Ｏ[≧▽≦]Ｏ”
The ship descended over Mülldeponie’s gray-green ocean and approached the spaceport of Dumsta, slowing down beautifully.
The drone floated forward, hovered under the cockpit ceiling,
and began shifting angles: showing the ocean through the front glass, catching Suckalia’s reflection in Jackie’s eyes, then pulling a wide cinematic sweep, like it was filming a commercial:
Come to Mülldeponie and survive if you can.The ship entered the hangar smoothly—
so smooth it felt like gravity itself decided to give them one good moment before things went to hell.
Jackie stared through the viewport, mesmerized, like she had personally landed the ship and was about to receive a pilot’s medal.