[Jackie jumps up in hysteria]“AISH—NO WAY—
NO—NO DANG WAY, DICK—
I KNEW IT—
THEY CHANGED HISTORY—
THIS.
IS.
HIM!”
[Dick is stunned back to the Stone Age]“What?..
What—what?..
Baby, wait, breathe,
you’re about to give me a heart attack.
What are you talking about?!”
[Jackie breathing hard, like she just outran three chimeras]“BLINDY!
IT’S ALL BLINDY!
WHAT IF HE WAS THE FIRST MUTAGENIC DROPLET IN HISTORY?!”
[Dick blinks three times. Somewhere in the galaxy, a star quietly dies. Jackie waves her arms, yelling into the mic]“DICK!
The plague!
The Athenian plague!
It came from outside Athens!
People didn’t understand it!
It spread—FAST!
Panic—TOTAL!
AND IT STARTED—
THINK, DICK, THINK!”
[Dick, terrified]“Uhh… from… gods?..
from war?..
from… bad sanitation?..”
[Jackie cuts him off]“NO!
FROM PIRAEUS!
FROM THE PORT!
THAT EXACT PORT!
WHERE THIS WET IDIOT IS SNEEZING ON POOR FISHERMEN!”
[Dick drops his glass again. The whiskey evaporates in fear. Jackie is almost crying]“DICK!
DO YOU REALIZE—
BLINDY…
COULD’VE STARTED THE ATHENIAN PLAGUE?!”
[Pause. Heavy. Dead silence][Dick, whispering like a man who just understood the fate of the universe]“…well…
so…
ancient history got wrecked by one cosmic dumbass…Wait, baby…
they changed the PAST?
But we didn’t disappear…
What the hell is going on?”
[Jackie exhales. Slowly.
Her voice becomes calm. Too calm.
Like someone who just accepted that reality is fucked]“Dick…
No one breaks causality.Space can bend.
Time can fold.
But causality doesn’t break.If we exist…
then the past is already compatible with our existence.
Which means—no paradox happened.”
[Her voice turns philosophical. Quiet. Dangerous]“I think Socrates was right.
Time isn’t linear.
It’s closed.Blindy didn’t change the past.
He was always in the past.The plague happened because he was there.
And he ended up there… because the plague already happened.”
[She almost whispers—like revealing a secret of the universe]“No one changes anything, Dick.
Everyone just plays out what already happened.”
[Dick blinks. Once. Twice.
Three times. Slower each time]“…yeah.
Sure.
Makes perfect sense.
Totally got it.”
[A long, heavy pause]“Drop Butt Pimple—
or whatever you’ve got ready.Let’s take a music break…”
[Jackie clicked the switch again, and you could hear the smile in her voice]“You know, Dick…
I’ve actually got something that fits what we’ve just been talking about.
It’s from the Saga of Code.”
[Dick tensed slightly]“Uh… another love song?”
[Jackie giggled]“Nah, not this time.
Also—you’re getting a little old…
and time slips through your fingers faster
than you chase your fans.”
[Dick snorted]“That’s slander! Lies! And—”
[Jackie cut him off instantly]“Yeah… that’s why this one fits you—and the moment—perfectly:
another track from The Saga of Code—my personal live recording: Time’s Tickin’—
performed live by Molly May Redridge™
with the Red Rodeo Blues Band.”
[She added softly, smiling]“You know, Dick… it’s slow.
Just like you.”
[Dick takes a deep drag from his cigar, grinds his teeth, downs a gulp of Johnnie Wanker™ like it's antifreeze for the soul. The music fades—and he explodes back on air]“Baby… this…
This one’s.. alright.
Not GREAT—but it goes with whiskey.And how many times do I gotta say this?!
I’m ONLY fifty-three!
Fifty-three, damn it!
That’s NOTHING!We’ve got some ancient bastard out here pushing one hundred ninety-two—
one-nine-fucking-two!
Still walking, still talking, still giving advice!So me, personally—
I’m still young,
and full of goddamn energy!”
[He coughs, takes another sip, grins into the mic]“Alright, no hard feelings.
Just reminding our dear gremlins—
you’re stuck with me
for at least another century. Maybe more.”
[He taps the desk, sliding back into host mode]“Let’s get back to damn story.”