— VJOOOOM—PH-SHIIIIT—TUDUUUUM!
RADIO NEBULA 69.99 FTLM![A space-jazz jingle—the kind you get if you open an AI composer, type "make me… like… jazz… space… but cool," and the neural net decides "cool" means running the entire Milky Way through itself, shitting halfway through, and outputting something that sounds like music, a glitch, a dying coffee machine, and an AI desperately pretending it's not hallucinating][Dick on air, completely unfazed]“Well shit, I heard about that incident on the news. Where was it again…
Ah yeah, GNN—Galactic Nothing News.
Alright, dear space gremlins, let me read this to you.”
[Dick opens a holo-tablet, pulls up gnn.space; the headline is still sitting there]“‘Breaking news.’ Heh. Everything’s breaking over there.
‘Earlier this evening at the Quince™ corporate business plaza, an… unscheduled workforce redistribution occurred.
Two unidentified individuals entered the building and… significantly reduced the marketing department.'”
[Dick shoots Jackie a serious look, like he's proving a point]“‘Preliminary reports indicate the attackers acted decisively, rapidly, and with extreme hostility toward creative slogans.’
Witnesses suggest they may have been dissatisfied customers unhappy with the campaign ‘We own your tomorrow™.’
However, according to official rumors… they were outplacement agents. Hired. By the company.'”
[A short dramatic pause, page rustling]“Quince™ has already released an official statement:
‘We deeply value our employees and will continue to innovate despite the temporary absence of our marketing department.'”
[Dick snorts quietly into the mic]“And they added that starting Monday, a new campaign launches:
‘Reset Your Mind™—now without the side effects of being shot in the head.'”
[A page flips; Dick's voice almost smiling on its own]“The Prime Inc. governor’s office has described the incident as…
‘an undesirable personnel event within the marketing division.'”
[Jackie cuts in sharply]“That’s a lie! Those two psychos turned it into a slaughterhouse!”
[Dick slowly smiles—you can hear it]
“Shame Todd wasn’t there.
I’d shake Blindy’s hand.”
[Jackie slams a button, outrage in her voice]“Dick!”
[Dick raises his hands—you can hear the gesture]“What? I’m speaking purely hypothetically.
Very hypothetically.
In a strictly metaphorical sense.”
[He slips into fake news-reader mode]“‘An unscheduled optimization has resulted in the untimely departure of the highly respected Todd McQuack…'”
[A quiet, tired exhale]“Man… if someone could just accidentally simplify my life.
No more 130-page contracts…
No more legal relationship worse than marriage…
That’s what you call force majeure.”
[The air held still]“Todd, if you’re listening…
I don’t wish you harm.
I just wish you… a speedy meeting with Blindy.”
[Jackie cuts his mic with a hard click]“Dick, enough. Wishing harm on another being is awful. That’s not you.
What would Vella think of you?”
[Dick exhales heavily, tone softening]“Alright, alright… sorry, baby. You’re right.
Let’s talk about something else.
Why did Madeline Crook even invite those two idiots to her office?
She could’ve outsourced the job.
Could’ve called Doce.
But no.
She chose Zeros and Blindy—
the two most unpredictable mercs in the galaxy.”
[A short pause]“Jackie, your take?”
[Jackie hums thoughtfully, finger to her lips]“Yeah… you’re right.
If there was no invitation…
there’d be no massacre.
Interesting…”
[Dick perks up, pleased]“Oh that’s easy, Watson.”
[He said nothing for a second]“…Uh… He’s this guy from old—”
[Jackie cuts him off clean]“I know who he is, Sherlock. Go on.”
[Dick, flattered, continues]“She was demonstrating power.
Without aggression.The invitation itself looks like a rich girl’s whim—
but underneath it?
That’s an order.She knew they’d come.
Knew they’d follow through.And most importantly—
knew they would want to come.”
[Silence. The uncomfortable kind; Dick's voice lowers, gets serious]“That’s high-level politics.
She didn’t want them.They came to her.
Even the way she interacts—
that’s power.She could ignore them. Forget them.
But instead?
She circles back.Walks up. Looks.
Runs her fingers across Zeros’s armor…
and leaves.Like a predator.”