Blindy jumped up and started pacing around the navigation terminal, waving his arms like he was trying to scare off invisible cockroaches.
“Shiori, Airi… I just don’t fucking get it!
You… you girls… you sound all nice, all sweet—voices like angels and shit!
It DOES NOT FIT you to be callin’ people dumbasses like that!
That—that hurts!
It really—really hurts…
Shiori—!
Like—EMOTIONAL DAMAGE level hurts!”
He nodded toward Kanzaki’s katana.
“I gave you that thing—”
Dramatically. Like it was his last shot at getting laid.
“…and you call me a DUMBASS…”
Shiori stood up immediately, set the manual aside, and bowed automatically.
“Buraindi-sama, I am sorry if I was… disrespectful…
When did I EVER do that to you?”
He snapped, losing track mid-accusation, turning away like reality betrayed him personally.
“JUST NOW!
An’ before that!
An’ before that-before-that—!”
Shiori looked at him
the way you look at someone completely fucked in the head
who just slammed a fridge door into himself
and is now blaming the fridge for conspiracy.
[At this moment, Dick cut in, grumbling]“And so you gremlins don’t get confused:
the phrase ‘fucked in the head’ is MY remark.
Shiori did not think that.”
[He cleared his throat, softening slightly]“She thought:
‘What is this baka even talking about?..'”
Airi couldn’t hold it anymore.
She burst out laughing.
“Buraindi-kuuun…
I don’t recall Shiori-sama ever calling anyone a dumbass. (¬_¬”)
Ever.”
Blindy snapped.
“Oh c’mon!
Blindy-sama, Zeros-sama… Shiori-sama…
What’s this?!Everybody’s a dumbass now or what?!
Is this like… some polite insult system or somethin’?!”
Airi glitched like she was about to fold in half from laughter.
“You… think… the word ‘SAMA’ is an insult?!?! [ ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°]”
The laughter went on, loud and bright.
The kind that makes you want to step outside into space without a suit.
Blindy turned red like his brain had just queued up for self-destruction.
“W-w-wait…
it’s NOT?..”
Shiori practically started steaming.
Almost literally.
But she held it together.
“Blindy.
‘Sama’ means ‘lord’ or ‘lady.’
It is respect.
Very deep respect.
Who told you it was an insult?”
Blindy felt every fiber of his being transform into a low-grade, galaxy-level idiot.
“ZEROS!
YOU MOTHERFUCKER—!
YOU LIED, DIDN’T YOU?!
YOU SET ME UP—YOU KNEW I’D SAY THAT SHIT!”
Zeros inhaled sharply.
So sharply it sounded like someone kicked a metal bucket full of nails.
“Blindy.
You rotten piece of cosmic shit.
What am I, C-3PO?
Supposed to know six million languages?
I KNOW ONE HUMAN LANGUAGE.”
He stressed every word.
“Cosmo-fuckinglish.
And that’s already too damn much.”
Blindy growled, lowering his head like he was about to cry into the table.
“You bastard…
I—I trusted you, buddy…
Like… actually trusted you…”
Then he turned to Shiori, almost pleading:
“S-s-sorry, Shiori…
I’m a fool.
Like—a REAL idiot.
Certified. Documented.
I don’t deserve that kinda respect when you call me ‘lord’…
Shiori waved her hand and clicked her tongue.
“Tsk… it’s fine. Forget it. I’m not offended.
You are like all baka ja nai…
You just… misunderstood.”
That did NOT make Blindy feel better. At all.
“W-wait…”
But his brain latched onto something:
“You call both of us ‘lord.’
Thanks for that, I guess…
Airi calls Zeros ‘sama’ too…
But me…
she calls me somethin’ else…”
Airi, still giggling, clearly more interested in finishing him off mentally than actually explaining, said:
“Buraindi-kun…
Let me guess…
you mean ‘kun‘? ☜ [◉▂◉ ]”
Blindy nodded slowly. Like a man accepting the end of his legacy.
“Yeah…
‘kun‘…
that thing…
What the hell’s that?..”
Airi answered immediately, sweet as ever—way too sweet for what was coming:
“Ah, don’t worry. That’s not a curse either. ⋆ටᆼට⋆
‘Kun’ is like ‘sama’…
but used for small, cute boys.
A diminutive form.”
Blindy’s dignity died.
No funeral.
No relatives.
No inheritance.
“W-w-what the fuck does THAT mean?!
What do you mean ‘small’—WHAT’S SMALL?!
Why is it small?!
WHO DECIDED THAT?!”
Zeros, completely done with the level of human stupidity, said coldly:
“It means you have something small—
ahem— dignity, you linguistic dumbass.”
Blindy staggered back, looked down
like he needed to confirm it was still there
and fired back defensively:
“My dignity is NOT small!
And shut up!
This is YOUR fault I acted like an idiot!My dignity is—
you know—
normal!
Normal-sized! Standard issue! Factory default!”
Airi switched into full mocking fatality mode:
“Uahahahaha!
Buraindi-kun… you really are ōbakamono… [ ◡‿◡ ]”