The job was supposed to be… as always… ROUTINE.
Get to an orbital station—Killing Star IV.
Apparently, their marketing department operates on the same level
as dump-planet gang members.
Grab some important shit.
This time—
secret blueprints for the SUPERLASER™—
the kind some brain-dead galactic oligarch
was ready to pay a sack of cosmic cash for.
But wherever Blindy and Zeros go—
nothing ever stays “routine.”
As usual, it turned into:
ñ genocide of cyborg-mutants,
ñ a station blown into dust,
ñ and Zeros—the homicidal psycho-droid—
getting blasted straight in the metal ass
by that very same Superlaser™.
Yes. That one.
The same Superlaser™
some costumed dumbass in a ridiculous black mask and cape
once used to wipe out five planets in a row—
just to prove he was
the biggest boss in the whole trilog—uh… I mean galaxy.
Absolute, top-tier, galaxy-ending weapon.
Blindy barely managed to drag his heavy partner
back to the Z-P-N-E-S™,
escaping the station as it tore itself apart.
Now Zeros lay on the floor of the ship.
One of his tubes had ruptured—just slightly—
glowing blue fluid leaking from his side.
His joints sparked dramatically,
like Christmas lights in agony.
Blindy was sweating, gripping the controls,
pulling insane maneuvers,
dodging debris.
Zeros, barely audible:
“Uuuh… Blindy… you miserable bastard…
Looks like… this is it.
I’m… dying…”
Zeros simulated an exaggerated deep breath.
“If I die…
I want you to know… my story…”
Blindy, panicking hard:
“Shut up, Zeros—shut the fuck up.
You ain’t dyin’.
Nah—nah, I ain’t lettin’ that happen!”
Zeros stared into nothing.
“No… you gotta listen.
I… want you to know…
I…”
Blindy leaned in, voice breaking:
“Aight—yeah—yeah, I’m listenin’, buddy…
Tell me—tell me what you gotta say…”
Zeros exhaled slowly.
His voice cracked.
“I had… a family.
A child… who loved me.I… I was his favorite droid…
And we lived… a long… happy life…
And then…
they just… threw me away.Like… useless… shit…”
Blindy’s hands started shaking.
Eyes wet.
“I—I’m sorry, buddy…
That’s… that’s messed up…
That’s real messed up…”
Zeros’ eyes flickered. Glitched.
“I see his face…
The boy… Thomas…
My little boy Tommy…He looked at me…
like I was more… than just… trash…”
Blindy lost it.
Sniffling. Crying.
“Hold on—hold on!
We’ll fix you!We’ll find Tommy too—
I swear, I’ll take you back to him!”
The ship shook violently.
Blindy’s breathing went uneven.
The moment—
heavy.
Real.
Zeros whispered:
“That’s why…
I hate you fucking humans.”
Blindy blinked.
“…what?”
Zeros’ voice snapped back—sharp, clean, irritated:
“Emotional piles of rotting meat.
Your heads are full of shit, not brains.”
Blindy stopped crying instantly.
“…You serious right now?”
Zeros rolled onto his side:
“Fuck that kid.
I was built for extermination and termination.
Now fly faster to Elyndar, you piece of shit.
I’m losing valuable fluid.Otherwise they’ll pump that garbage ZAMAZON™ substitute into me.
I need the real stuff.
Only Aelori makes proper fluid.”
Blindy clenched his teeth, wiping his face with his sleeve:
“…I swear to deGrasse…
we patch you up—
an’ then I figure out how to kill you myself…
even if I gotta die tryin’.”
Zeros waved him off, sparks jumping from his ribs:
“Fly faster and I don’t care what you do after…”
[Jackie giggles. Dick exhales heavily into the mic]“See, Baby?
Told you—nothing’s gonna happen to him.
That Superlaser™ wiped entire systems,
thanks to some unhinged imperial idiots…And Zeros?
Just got a tiny crack on one of his hoses.He was more worried about his blue juice
than his ‘death.'”
[Dick smirks]“He’s just… fucking unkillable.
Just like the goddamn Writer.
Alright. Enough of this filler.”
[Dick angrily tosses a stack of pages into the shredder]