Blindy didn’t even resist—he was used to it.
He folded his arms over his chest, sighed,
and let himself roll along the floor like a sack of potatoes.
By the time they reached Garr-Tuun’s table,
Zeros let go.
Blindy hit the ground on his ass, cursed, got up,
and started brushing off his pants.
Zeros extended a metal finger
and pressed it straight into the lobster’s shell—
CRACK
Like the spine of a cheap cloned chicken.
“Hey. Double-Ass.
You the one wanted to see us?”
Blindy finally looked at the lobster.
Sitting in front of them was a Karkata—
round-headed, muscular, seven feet of absolute disaster,
the kind that could break walls, skulls, relationships,
and your mood with a single claw.
“These Karkata…
intelligence-wise, they’re not that different from my agent.Jackie, you wanna add something?
You’re our resident expert on cosmic horrors.”
[Jackie's voice slipped in—soft, but with a hint of hesitation]“Dick…
Well… as a proud member of PETA—
People for the Ethical Treatment of Aliens—
I really shouldn’t speak poorly about other species.However… if I’m being honest…
they are quite terrifying. Truly.Though during molting, they become surprisingly… delicate.
Pale… almost soft-looking…
and they smell… um… somewhat… appetizing.”
[Dick burst out laughing, nearly dumping the last oxygen out of his artificial lungs]“You heard that, right?
If Jackie says they’re terrifying—
that means they’re absolute garbage.A pile of muscle, a shell like an exoskeleton
that even a blaster won’t crack—
and a brain about as advanced as a sentient cockroach.But let’s not get dragged into the biology of space abominations.”
Garr-Tuun slowly raised his head.
Slowly.
Awkwardly.
And looked at the goddamn murder-android
like a sheep staring at a new gate,
trying to figure out whether it was food or a threat.
And then—
suddenly—
a high-pitched voice:
“Well, you sure took your time, húndàn…!”
Garr-Tuun stood up, stepped aside—
and only then did Blindy see
what was on his stomach.
From a leather pouch hanging off the creature’s belly,
something small, sticky, and revolting peeked out—
like a living, alien-scale pimple.
A parasite.
Species… Nivrix.
The kind you could crush without noticing—
but that usually latched onto something big and powerful…
and took full control of its brain.
Blindy took a step back.
“Uh… Zeros… you seein’ this?
Is that… a talkin’ dong?”
The tiny, furious creature sticking out of the pouch
jerked upward like a boiling cyst
and started waving its little arms, screaming curses so vile they’d been banned in every civilized sector of the galaxy.
“Nǐ hǎo, assholes…
You can call me Zhu’Rokken.
You’ll be speaking to me.Nǐ tā mā shì shénme guàiwù?“
Garr-Tuun started moving sideways—
Zhu’Rokken shrieked:
“Where do you think you’re going, yī tuó hǎi lǐ de gǒu shǐ?!
I’ll ditch you and find myself a better host!But first I’ll dump you into open space—
jì qǐlái, gǒurì de!I SWEAR!
You hear me, you brainless lump?!”
The lobster froze, trying to turn—
and awkwardly swung a claw
straight into Blindy’s face.
Blindy flew back, slammed into a stool,
and rolled like a sack of dirty laundry.
“WHAT THE HELL, YOU MOTHERF—?!”
He roared, jumping up, drawing his blaster,
aiming straight at Garr-Tuun’s head.
“YOU WANNA DIE?!
I’LL SHOOT YA AN’ YO’ LOBSTER ROLL ASS!”
The lobster stopped.
Blindy lunged forward, swung—
and punched upward into its jaw.
CRACK
Pain.
Impact.
The sheer stupidity of fate.
“ffffFFUUUCK!”
He yelled, jerking his hand back.
“That hurts!”
Zeros sighed slowly,
tilting his head—
like he was watching a fly
try to fuck a fan.
“You brainless parasite
latched onto my metal ass…Learn to handle it.”
“Handle what? The lobster?!” Blindy snapped.
“Not the lobster.
The parasite, you dumbass.Can’t you see the lobster’s face?
Its brain checked out a long time ago.”
And Zeros calmly slapped the parasite.
Just—SLAP
Garr-Tuun instantly lit up,
like someone had finally told him
he was doing a good job.