While the ninja-roids were slicing Constant
like a New Year’s cake, the galaxy first… froze—
…and then started falling apart.
Jackie nudged Dick with her elbow:
“Dick-Dick… look at the holo-screen.
JINJJA… WHAT IS HAPPENING OUT THERE?..”
Dick swallowed hard:
“SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO?!
I—I didn’t sign up for THIS shit!”
He flicked through CosmoNet™.
On screen—GNN—GALACTIC NOTHING NEWS—BREAKING NEWS.
Anchor North Galen—dead-eyed, wooden as ever.“We’ve just received confirmation…
the battle of titans on planet A0620-00 E — also known as… Mülldeponie
has exceeded local containment…”
And then—
dark red tears started streaming from his eyes. But his face didn't change at all.“If you have shelters… please… do not go outside… I repeat… do—”
The image glitched. Froze.
Dick muttered:
“Fuck… even the anchor crashed.”
He opened Bombberg.space. Graphs were dropping like a busted condom.
Trading bots screaming, tickers flying:
“IF WE DENY THE MARKET—THE MARKET CAN’T HURT US!”
Dick snorted:
“Dear gremlins…
We’re about to outdo Zimbabwe’s hyperinflation crisis.
Back in 2009 they had a 100 trillion bill.
We’re about to get negative money.
Soon your crypto-bucks won’t even buy you air.”
He swiped again.
TikTalk™ livestream popped up.
TIKTALK™ LIVE – THE LATEST COMMENTS
@ProphetLIVE: Brothers and sisters! Today is THE HOUR OF TRUTH! 🔥
@ProphetLIVE: We are ready to sacrifice all lower-tier members to stop the chaos!
@Skeptic_404: why the lower tier?.. 🤨
@MoralCompass: ayo what 💀
@ConcernedCitizen: THAT DOESN’T SOUND RIGHT
@ProphetLIVE: BECAUSE GOD LIKES IT THAT WAY! 🙌🔥
@FaithMaxxer: AMEN 🙏
@Logic.exe: that’s not how anything works
@ConfusedOrb: bro just picked a difficulty setting for humans 😭
Dick muttered:
“Oh cosmic shit… cult’s pulling top-tier content.”
Jackie blinked:
“This is… what they call religion?..”
Dick scrolled:
“Yeah… look—fleets already parking over the planet.”
AL-KAWN — LIVE ORBITAL FEED
Massive corporate fleets have entered low orbit over A0620-00 E (Mülldeponie).
Confirmed entities on-site include:
- MACROHARD™
- QUINCE™
- GOGLE™
- XEREX™
Additional unregistered extraction vessels continuing to arrive.
No resistance has been reported.
“To all participants currently engaged in the surface-level conflict: In the event of your death, your physical remains will be classified as orbital debris under interstellar salvage law.”
“Clause 18-Ω-22: Remains of colossi are considered high-value salvage. Ownership is granted to the first party to secure extraction rights… regardless of thermal state.”
Dick snorted:
“Well… the vultures showed up.”
Jackie gasped:
“Even HANS & SAUSAGES™ is here!”
She read aloud:
“This planet was founded by Baron Hans von Sausberg.
Everything that happens here—happens in our yard.”
Dick laughed:
“Sausage conglomerate be like: ‘Don’t eat without us.'”
Jackie paled:
“And… Iron Tiger Pa.
What is samchon doing here?..”
She handed Dick a message.
He read:
“Dick, you piece of shit.
If even a single hair falls from uri gongju-nim’s head—
I’ll bury you in the black hole.
Just in case, I’m sending my boys.”
Dick swallowed. Jackie smiled softly:
“Samchon always worries about me~”
Shiori added quietly:
“There’s another fleet… KANZAKI ARC FOUNDATION™.
Obaachan is worried about me too…”
Dick dragged a hand down his face:
“Perfect.
Corporations, clans, cultists, influencers…
Everyone’s coming.
Everyone’s streaming.
Everyone wants a piece of the spotlight…”
He tapped YouTools™:
“Here—check this idiot out…”
On screen—a sweaty, unhinged blogger:
I FLEW INTO A TITAN FIGHT (NOT CLICKBAIT)
VoidClout_Official: I’M IN LOW ORBIT RIGHT NOW! 🚀🔥
VoidClout_Official: YOU SEE THAT??? THAT’S A REAL TITAN BRO!
VoidClout_Official: IF I GET HIT BY DEBRIS—
VoidClout_Official: —THIS WILL BE THE BEST CONTENT OF MY LIIIIIFE!
ConcernedMom: PLEASE GO HOME
AdrenalineJunkie: THIS IS PEAK CONTENT 🔥
RealistGuy: you are going to die
ClipHunter: SOMEONE CLIP THIS BEFORE HE EXPLODES
VoidClout_Official: CHAT DON’T WORRY I BROUGHT—
VoidClout_Official: —WAIT WHY IS MY SHIP SHAKI—
Half the network posted memes.
The other half cried.
The third—wrote fanfiction.
Dick’s screen lit up:
Jackie covered her mouth:
“Porn… pixel?
What even is that?”
Dick squinted:
“That blurry censored blob the camera can’t show.
Yeah… that golden asshole. The Architect.
Machines can’t see him.
So the round idiot just slaps a censor square over it.”
Jackie looked again:
“So…
on the stream, Zeros is standing next to a censorship block…
and people decided… that’s porn???”
Dick nodded, dead serious:
“CosmoNet™ doesn’t ask ‘why.’
CosmoNet™ asks ‘with who.'”
Jackie snorted:
“I can imagine poor Zeros…
has no idea he’s become the star of…
this.”
Dick scrolled further:
“Oh, you haven’t seen the rest of—ahem—Rule34 creations…”
Shiori, who saw the screen too, exhaled quietly:
“Humans… are hopeless.”
Jackie closed the holo-display:
“The world’s losing its mind…”
The screens kept flickering. Voices kept shouting. Feeds kept updating.
But around them—
it was quiet.
And in the middle of all that chaos…
…there was them.