Exponent started posing bigger, bolder, more aggressively—
even more dramatically.
And the drone…
as if completely losing its mind from global fame…
widened its lens so far
it looked like it might crack from excitement.
Zeros, finally done with Blindy’s nonstop whining,
turned exactly thirteen degrees—
like that was the last unit of patience he had left.
His voice hit like a hammer on titanium:
“Listen, you piece of shit.
STAY HERE.
RIGHT HERE.
I’m going to see what kind of fucktard this is.
GOT IT?!”
Blindy shrank—
like a kicked puppy
that just got banned from the dinner table.
“O-okaay…
Just—just don’t leave me hangin’, alright—?
Get closer when it starts—please—
I wanna see—!
C’mon, man—say yes—
PLEASE—just once—be a decent human being—!”
Zeros exhaled sharply—
short, irritated—
like he was one step away from deleting Blindy from existence.
“Tch… you’re fucking exhausting.
Fine. BUT YOU STAY BACK.”
And without waiting for a reply—
Zeros jumped. Not a jump.
A launch—
like a ballistic missile deciding it had somewhere personal to be.
He shot upward in an arc—five hundred feet—
tracing a perfect mechanical trajectory,
then came down at the base of the hill.
The impact hit hard enough
that half the rusted slope shuddered
and started collapsing—
like the terrain itself went: nah, fuck this, I’m not part of this fight.
The drone jerked,
looped through the sky,
then dropped right behind Zeros,
keeping both of them in frame—
like it was about to capture something
memes would be quoting for the next thousand years.
Zeros didn’t even turn his head.
“Hey.
You clown-ass freak.
What do you want?”
Exponent turned his back dramatically,
then slowly tilted his head over his shoulder.
“I AM THE HERO THE GALAXY HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!”
[Likes began rising exponentially]Zeros dragged a hand across his face
like he was trying to erase reality.
“I’m getting real tired of your shit.
I’ll say it again—
WHAT. DO YOU. FUCKING. WANT?!”
Exponent snapped around to face him—
the cape cutting a perfect golden circle,
like someone animated it frame by frame.
[Likes: +112,979,874]“TODAY!
THE AGE OF DARKNESS ENDS!
I WILL SAVE EVERYONE!”
Zeros turned, ready to walk away—
not because he was afraid,
but because talking to this idiot
was worse than death.
Exponent, seeing himself ignored,
froze instantly in a perfectly calibrated superhero stance:
- legs wide,
- chest out,
- cape spinning dramatically,
- arms extended forward,
- visor blazing: 2.718
And then, with enough pathos to tear space itself:
“EXPONENTIAL STRIKE!”
Zeros barely managed something between
“ah, fuck” and “I hate this”—when Exponent vanished.
The air trembled.
And from the top of the hill—
a blue streak dropped onto Zeros’s back,
like a graph collapsing toward zero.
Then—
a deafening sonic boom ripped across the island,
tearing through the silence like growth curves ripping through common sense.
A superhero flying kick slammed into Zeros’s body—
hard enough to push him forward one step.
Just one. Short.
Exponent glowed with victory—for exactly half a second.
Then Zeros turned—and drove a fist into his chest
so hard Exponent launched backward,
punched straight through the hill,
and left behind a perfect hole—
clean as a railgun shot.
The drone shook from the shockwave, its lens flickering—but it kept filming, like a true suicidal cameraman.
Back on the ship, Jackie screamed:
“BIG-EYE!
GET OUT OF THERE!”
The drone ignored her completely.
It kept shooting—close-ups, tracking, angle switches—
looking so invested like this was its personal Oscar moment.
And for one second—the comments on CosmoNet™ froze.
Trillions of viewers went silent.
No one expected a superhero to get launched that fast. Zeros rolled his shoulders—
metal joints cracking like something inside him was breaking iron bars.