“Alright-alright-alright!
The last scene was such an abso-fucking-lutely unhinged firestorm of special effects
that even Michael Bay would nod solemnly and whisper:"Now that's how you make cinema, motherfuckers."And speaking of explosions—
my bladder just filed another urgent complaint with HQ.Before we continue the tale
of two megacorps setting billions of c-bucks on fire
for absolutely no strategic reason…Jackie, sweetie—hit them with another trash-track from your playlist.
I need to step out and let nature air her grievances.”
[Dick slipped out all tense and twitchy, then came back loose—collapsed into a chair like his soul had just clocked out]“Alright…
I’m back.
We continue—
no bullshit, no filler—
just pure cosmic chaos for you limb-clutching listeners.”
The Z-P-N-E-S drifted in relative calm,
leaving a lovely cloud of debris behind…
Until—
BAM!
A new flagship dropped out of hyperspace right in their faces:
And it parked itself nose-to-nose
like someone trying to start a bar fight in zero-gravity.
From the shock, Blindy inhaled his own spit
and started choking on it.
Madeleine unbuckled, drifted forward just enough in half-gravity, and slapped him on the back—
either helping him breathe
or using the moment to unload several months of accumulated stress.
Hard to tell.
Zeros lifted the ship—smooth, precise—
gliding over the monstrous hull of the flagship.
The Z-P-N-E-S drifted silently above it,
as dozens of turrets rose one after another,
slowly turning their angry little snouts toward them.
From the hangars below,
hundreds of drones were already launching.
Zeros’ hands danced over switches and toggles—
CLICK-CLICK! CLACK-CLACK!
BRRRT—POP!
prepping their rustbucket for an emergency hyperjump.
Blindy finally managed to wheeze out a breath—
though honestly, from Madeleine’s punches
more than from oxygen.
Blindy’s squeal cut through the wailing sirens like a knife through warm stupidity.
“HOLY DEGRASSE. ZERO, THAT IS A HUGE THING. WE—WE’RE GONNA DIE!!!”
Zeros, dry as desert metal:
“Stop screaming. Press that button…”
A warning alarm wailed like a dying goat with commitment issues.
In pure panic, Blindy began pressing
EVERY. SINGLE. THING.
Simultaneously.
Zeros barely had time to open his metal jaw:
“NO—”
But it was already too late.
Blindy’s hand slammed a faded red switch labeled:
"ENGINE #1 EMERGENCY JETTISON—DO NOT TOUCH, MORON."The ship convulsed so violently—
KRRRASH–BWUUM!—
that the loose bolts blasted into the air—
CHIK-CHIK-CHIK!—
and hovered in zero-gravity like a swarm of metallic gnats.
Madeleine—also—hovered.
Outside, the left engine ripped off—
THRANG–SKRRRRT!—
spinning away like a burning asteroid
— CLONK!—WHEE!— WHEEEE— WHEEEEEEE!—
and—by some twisted cosmic law
or by the malicious will of the goddamn author—
the engine sailed straight into the thermal exhaust port of MH Outlook™.
KRRRRA-KA-BOOOOOM!
Chain reaction.
BWAAAAM–SHHHHRRRAK!—VRRRAAAM–KLANG!
The flagship began detonating from the inside, starting at the aft.
Shockwaves of superheated plasma ripped through the drone swarms—
FWOOOM! SHRAKK! K-THWAM!
Debris scattered everywhere,
creating a glorious cosmic firework display behind the Z-P-N-E-S. The loss of the engine sent their ship into a majestic, nauseating spin,
as if the universe wanted to give the crew a slow, cinematic view
of the destruction they had just accidentally engineered.